Hey friends!!! I’m a cute soggy bby who loves to dance and be soggy!
I went to go see Modest Mouse & Pixies last night in Philadelphia! It was an incredible show, so many people on the boards have said it was the best MM show in a Decade. Kurt Vile from The War On Drugs came out to play The Way Down with MM, a song they apparently haven’t played live since 2009. It was a fantastic night and MM did a cover of “The Forest” by The Cure, and it was incredible!
Pixies were fantastic and I danced all night! I met a cool new friend and got some great video, my phone has such an incredible zoom! (Samsung S24 Ultra)
I have also been doing the Daily Vlog thing! I have some videos from the concert and I put out a big ol’ sad video talking about my 500 Days post op angst. I’m not going to post that one, but check out the big smiley one i’m doing tomorrow! This is my Daily Vlog Channel Below!
Thanks friends! Lots of good vibes and shows and dancing and smiles ahead! Be sure to check out some more video from that soggy night coming soon DiaperLifestyle.com!
Going to a reallly coool concert tomorrow night! Check out my Daily Vlog for more updates 🙂
First up is my video about the new Kidgets XL Diapers! I will be talking about these more soon, but for now just know they are the biggest “cartoon” print pull-up as of yet. Those weird adult pullups made by Bambino don’t count. Let me know if you’ve ever seen another XL Goodnites Style Diaper with licensed branding like that, as of yet the XL sizes have all been plain. These aren’t super-cutesy, but they do have Dino patterns which is very Underoos.
Sometimes YT pics the perfect little frame for the thumbnails. Also, if you look carefully you might be able to catch a peep of the Fairytale Diaper i’m wearing!
Also Also, Northshore just came out with the “Megamax Lite“, which is the Megamax with less bulk. I was a big fan of the Supreme Lite so i’ll have to review these soon!
Use RILEY5OFF for a $5 Discount on Northshore! All Caps!
Daily Vlog Update! I’m doing a Daily Vlog again to share lots of feelings and adventures and I do lots of interesting stuff and shoot lots of interesting videos but I don’t’ really know where to put them! so I’m getting back into it, I can edit on my phone efficiently now and my computer can crank out new videos fast. I love being able to look back and see where i’ve been and what i’ve done, and I hope you’ll join me again!
I know it’s Wednesday, but let’s just play pretend for a minute 🙂
Here’s a bunch of really cute pictures! New videos incoming, If you’re looking for my socials they are all gone.
I’m getting a new computer. It’s gonna enable me to create things that i’ve never been able to before. I’m shifting more towards professional video editing and production. It would be nice to just be a name in the credits for a little while. More videos, Faster turnover. I really enjoyed streaming VR and might get back into that.
It’s been a rough week emotionally. Today is a big day emotionally too. I’m gonna spend the whole day in doctors offices, advocating for my friend, A year ago today I got a message from a little girl saying she wanted me to visit her. This last year has been the most intense year of my life, the most difficult to survive.
But here now in this moment, I am okay. Lots of opportunity ahead of me. Still carrying a lot of weight, letting it make me stronger instead of weakening me. I am a survivor.
Have a wonderful Wednesday 💙 Give your stuffy a hug for me 💙
Pics:
Some Green Adventures in Penns Woods.
Some really cute pics of my new diaper bag, unicorn sheets and metal dress!
Racoon had some fun adventures at the fair!
New heels! These White Jimmy Choos are beautiful but the blue velvet Zanottis, just perfect. I recently went through all My designer shoes to show them off! Be sure to check out my other youtube!
Have a wonderful day! Also, look how big and beautiful my breasts are :):)
Hi friends! I’m going to let the video do the talking today! New Stuff Here!
Here’s me talking about this amazing new giant BB diaper I got from TEMU – Use the link below to check them out!
⭐️Click the link https://temu.to/m/u68z6876bnp to get 💰$100 coupon bundle or ⭐️ Search acp101178 on the Temu App to get 💰30% off discount !!
LINK TO DIAPERS! BE SURE TO SIGN UP To TEMU Using My Link Above!
Ultra-Soft & Leak-Proof Extra Large Diapers – Hassle-Free Nappy for All Bodytypes – 30/50/70pc Packs – https://share.temu.com/B1XLCUTEuQA
As for the emotional stuff in this video, I really needed to get some feelings out and after recording literally hundreds of hours of footage and having nearly daily panic attacks around the hurt and harassments & grief surrounding losing Luna, this is all i’ll say. I’ll chalk teh rest of it up to working stuff out, I’m going to delete it all today I think. I literally have spent several hours a day working on videos and writing for the last 7 months. That’s called manic depression, grief, trauma, all that. But I’ve been healing, and this is all I will say. I’m off ABDL Twitter for good, I’m done. It’s time to celebrate life instead of surrounding myself with people who don’t love or respect me. I sank to their level now it’s time to rise above ❤
Thanks and here’s some cute pics! More stuff soon, I’m about to have a diaper-review-arama on my youtube so keep an eye out for that and uncensored version of my video coming to DiaperLifestyle today!
Thanks for watching, more smiles and good stuff sooooon!
For the first time in life I’ve been seeing a therapist to help sort out my brain. They gave me homework, to write what success looks like to me. I’ll get to that, but first, all this.
Today is a very big day for my family. There is a 50/50 chance on a life saving surgery. Success is surviving, simple as that.
I have always had problems with sadness, like a persistent raincloud over my life. Not just my brain reacting to trauma but an ambient sadness. Some say it’s a chemical imbalance, genetic or environmental, the why doesn’t matter to me. I’m learning it’s ok to be sad. It’s ok to be angry. It’s ok to cry.
Goldfish says to the another Goldfish, “How’s the water today?”, the other Goldfish thinks… “What the heck is water?”
Do you ever watch squirrels? How you rarely see one in repose? That’s been my life, under constant distress from predators. Forced to be dynamic, constantly moving with mysterious purpose. Occasionally losing their nuts. I think it’s the exhaustion that most often metastasizes into sadness. I just get so tired of feeling, so tired of the pain, the fear. My little rabbit heart beats too fast and I get scared. My life has been a series of panic attacks briefly interrupted by meals and flights.
Riley Ellisons: “I took speech therapy as a kid but I must scream”.
I used to take speech therapy as a kid because I would just scream and scream, especially at night. I would just wake up screaming, nightmares and stuff. I would get so scared or angry or sad… I was a really quiet kid otherwise, but I had this deep upset inside me. I had to learn to not scream, and to this day raising my voice is EXTREMELY rare.
I hate being a WASP. If you’re younger and reading this, WASP (or White Anglo-Saxxon Protestant) basically means you’re in a repressive/oppressive suburban person. My Fathers pictures of success is not bothering anyone. My Mom’s picture is grandkids and a Platinum TopGolf membership and by god has she made it. There’s one more thing she wants, but more on that later.
I learn what i’m taught, especially as a child, I was a sponge for the world. I was taught to be meek, kind, that good news red letter liberal Christianity. It’s a pure good thing those teachings, but it’s the people who spoil them, I feel fortunate to have grown up with a solid bedrock of empathy, it’s guided me and kept me good through all this bad.
But that all changed, as my family shattered and the safety & security of private school transformed to the apathy, fear and violence of public school in the trap. Going from a kind but milquetoast father to a drunken, gun-toting sadist of a man, the veil was pulled back, the harsh radiation of day overwhelming me. I was veal. And out came the wolves. But thankfully, after I graduated my family started to heal. I have forgiven my Mom, and we are close. Never let a moment dictate a life.
My stepdad disappeared at 17 and a new man came into our lives. He wasn’t white or anglo-saxxon or protestant. Him and I never connected over the first 20 or so years but we always were respectful for my Moms sake, he’s a good man despite us having political differences, to say it simply. We have gotten closer lately. This is going somewhere… I promise.
The last time I was visiting Luna, I got the phone call that the big C had shown it’s face once again in my life, this time on my Mom’s partner. And sidenote, that last week with Luna, I still remember every moment of it. Like how people say time slows down during intense moments, it’s still so vivid that week. There was so much, my rental car caught fire, I had the police show up to my house for a de*th threat and hearing of his illness, it was all so overwhelming. And yet I still took great care of her because this world has made me fucking unstoppable.
Today he will survive, like my Mom has survived her Cancer and MS, like I survived all my health issues, my botched orchi, my addictions, we are fighters. My Mom is tough as hell and will make it through this, positive or negative. I wrote her this in her Mothers day card, knowing the trials she has faced and the ones on the horizon.
“One never meets just Cancer, or War, or Unhappiness (or Happiness). One only meets each hour or moment that comes. All manner of ups and downs. Many bad spots in our best times, many good ones in our worst. One never gets the total impact of what we call ‘the thing itself’. But we call it wrongly. The thing itself is simply all these ups and downs: the rest is a name or an idea.”
I don’t believe in God, but I still pray now and then. And around 1 PM est today i’m going to pray, maybe you’ll join me. Pray for peace.
HyperBallad: Or All We Need Is Imagination
Peace, that’s all I really want. I want nice things of course, I want a beast of a computer to make better art, I want more vacations in fancier places, but it all really comes down to is space for my friends, good food and a safe home. I want enough money to overcome any health issues I may have, which is the American Dream. My highest aspiration is to survive and be there for others. I’ve learned no gift is more important than being present. A hug, a conversation, a quiet moment. That’s what we can give.
I talk about this all the time, but my picture of success is being an old woman walking around barefoot in a farmers market. I’m wearing a little yellow sundress & a hat with a sunflower in it, i’m gathering food for my friends and know everyone at the market. There’s a folk band playing and the singers eyes light up when they see me. I’m invisible to the unkind men (I broke down crying after writing this line, surprised myself).
I’m 80 and generations have been inspired by my life. My life has been a hyperballad, an epic poem, an everlasting piece of art, the world was a garden and I planted my seeds and those seeds were good. They made the world more kind. They taught people that’s all you need.
HOMER – Oh. My dreams will go unfulfilled? Oh, no! I don’t like the sound of that one bit. That means I have nothing to hope for. Marge, make it better please, can’t you make it better, huh?
MARGE – Homer, when a man’s biggest dreams include seconds on dessert, occasional snuggling and sleeping in til noon on weekends, no one man can destroy them.
HOMER – Hey, you did it!
When a girls greatest aspiration is to have her hair petted while she snuggles her bear, to be told things are gonna be ok…no one person can keep her from that.
There’s this Björk song about waking up every morning and throwing trinkets off Icelandic cliffs and listening to the sounds they make and then imagining yourself falling off the cliff. And then going home and feeling safe and OK in your life. This song always spoke to me because I think we need to be ok with ourselves and our own strange meditations. We need to be ok with morbidity, we need to allow our imagination to goto dark places. We need to interact with nature as well as fantasy, the two categories dividing everything. Trees & Foxes on one side, Hope and Love on the other. I miss Luna so much, I wish I believed.
So that’s what we’re left with, a big pile of poetry, venting verse and alliterative aspirations. Finding sense in the chaos by writing it all down. The thing to take away from all this is, success may that big job, that new car, paying off debts, getting the girl, sure. But success to me, it’s surviving and holding the hands of survivors.
There’s a difference between living and surviving. When we make love, when we hold our bears at night, when we wake up feeling new, that’s living. Every other moment is survival, and I just want to make more moments of living for myself and other fellow travelers.
Thanks for listening friends. More stuff soon. I went to a wolf sanctuary yesterday. It was really nice. Hope you like the pics, be well and love yourself and the rest will follow.
Hey friends! Tuesday was a very busy day where I met a very wonderful friend for a lovely day of duckies and woofers!
It was an extremely pleasant day, to the maxxx 🙂 I really love where I live, I love how green it is here, I love how we have different seasons, I love the fresh food and the unique people. I love how much concern people seem to have for others. It’s really great.
Yesterday was an extremely big day for myself and my little family. There was a big operation that could save someone very important to me’s life or do the other thing. It saved his life and went “Very Well” according to the doctors. I’m very glad.
New video and stuff coming soon to the paysites. Taking a breath and feeling good.
Thanks for listening friends 🙂 Cute diaper fun incoming!
Hey friends! New video today showing off and reviewing the new Goodnite Designs! featuring the XL / L in Girls and the XL in Boys! I also discuss the Huggies New Leaf changing to the new Skin Protect rebranding!
Thanks So Much For Watching!!! Cute New Stuff Soon!
New video reviewing the Fairyland Diapers from CuddleCo-Op!
I’m a big fan of this one, just a simple thick diaper with an adorable design! Plastic tapes, durable, 5000 ML absorbency, no wetness indicator, plastic backed and super crinkly! Soft too!
Part 2 of my forest adventure coming sooon! Photos and Full Videos coming to DiaperLifestyle!
Happy thoughts friends! More soooon!
If you don’t want to sign up for my site, you can donate easily here! https://ko-fi.com/rileykilo – I just bought a new car so donations are super appreciated!
I miss diapers so much. I can’t express how much I miss being a complete diaper sogging babby. I used to get up in a wet diaper, take a shower, put on lotion and get into another, usually crinkle around all morning and take it off or change into a new one in the afternoon when i’m most active, then change into another diaper before bed, then the same the next day. I used to get so ridiculously horny in my diapers all day, it was heaven.
I still get days like that, but things have changed a ton. I get irritated down there WAY easier, especially the skin on my clit, but also around my thighs can be more achey from wearing, because that area is still sensitive and I think the surgery just made things more delicate.
I feel mostly healed, but applying pressure to the area still has this icky pain to it, like a deep sullen ache. It hoits. I hope it goes away someday, that Valtrex helps, but it’s still pain, it still effects me, my moods, my sex drive… I’m still struggling, but less than before. I was so sad and messed up from it… still kinda am. Staying strong and moving forward though, no regerts.
Less Sad Part ~~
WIth that said, I just put out the best solo video I’ve ever made I think. It was likely the most arousing one i’ve ever made for me, it just felt so good, to tease and vibrate and yeah, I look and feel amazing in that video. Go read the description on StayKinky, it’s incredible, the one called “Do You Want Me To Show You”. I’m starting to awaken my body again. Starting to find happiness in my new body the way I hoped to. It’s been a tough time, but I am looking good and feeling good about myself. I survived this, barely, but I survived and am stronger than ever before. I just wish I was wearing diapers, not panties… I can still wear, just not as often as before.
Happy Part ~~
New Video Out Today! Target Panties Haul! Going to be a big one, new TEMU Fashion video coming soon!
And coming this weekend, new Fairyland video on YT and the uncut version on DiaperLifestyle, should be up tomorrow or Sunday!!!
Thanks for watching, like, subscribe, click the share button, do all that stuff, it helps a ton! Thanks friends!!!
StayDiapered! 