I feel like a broken little baby bird… It’s summer time so I ride my bike everywhere, and sometimes I ride really early in the morning, and unfortunately some of the drunks are still around from the night before wandering around like zombies that you can’t legally kill. So I left for work and this drunk douchebag was relieving himself in the street. When I rode past him, I tried my best to not acknowledge him but he kicked his back foot out right into my back tire and made me crash my bike.

I’m lucky about a couple things, I was wearing a helmet which got totally scratched up, but I’d probably be in the morgue right now if I wasn’t wearing my cute, pink bicycle helmet. I’m a lucky girl, because the guy realized what he did and ran away the second I crashed, I was basically incapacitated for a couple minutes and dude could have added insult to injury by stealing my bike or worse. Stuff like that happens where I live every once in a while but this was just a stupid drunk, as opposed to a rapist or thief. I’m also lucky that my bike is fine, I got a lot more banged up than it did. All in all, I came out with a broken wrist (not fractured and not sprained, broken), and quite a bit of road rash and further distrust for my fellow man… I got a super cute pink cast though J

I’ve been using a voice recognition program that actually works pretty good. If you say “smiley face” it makes a little 🙂 but even better, when you say “frowny face” It makes a 😦 , I didn’t even think frowny was a word, Microsoft Word and blogger don’t think it’s a word. So, if you get an e-mail from me or read a post that has kind of weird verbiage, it’s the program. I try my best to edit but sometimes it comes out with weird Engrish that I don’t notice.

Once the road rash clears up a little bit I’ll take some pictures of me in the UnderJams, I promise! To be honest. I’ve always felt really creepy about it, but I like the pictures on websites like CareFet. I guess it’s just a bit of a medical fetish, I’m not talking about getting casted for thrills, but if I was incapacitated somehow and had to wear diapers, that’s kind of some weird little fantasy. It’s no fun if you actually have broken bones so the concept is a little too far-fetched for me.

I’m going to go get some delicious comfort food (one of those giant frozen lasagna’s) and I just wanted to say if you haven’t seen me around for awhile, I apologize, but this little birdie needs to tend to her wounds.

I’ve been anticipating the UnderJams for months much like everyone else has been anticipating Speed Racer, and ironically both of them were disposable and filled with fluff. I wasn’t impressed with the packaging, there’s hardly any info and doesn’t say anything about enuresis like the Goodnites package and its kinda a sickly purple color (the boys is the worst, its like pea green but faded, I guess pastels are more “grown-up” than solid colours).

“Public” is a word and a concept that AB/DL and trans-folks are very weary of. Many of us keep our private lives private, and there’s a lot of power to the person who’s a construction worker 95% of their lives and a sissy frilly baby girl or lipstick blonde knockout for the other 5%, I guess it’s a little like the person who’s walking around 95% of the time and on rollercoaster’s the other 5%. I definitely don’t feel the same way about girls underwear as I did when I wore boxers all the time.

Those of us that have the ability and have a strong enough desire to bring our true selves into the “public” face a great deal of adversity. People aren’t ok with things like this because there are no positive role-models in the public eye, things are getting better for trans-girls but it’s still really hard, I’m blessed to live in a place that is as open-minded as my town. and king baby is basically the western concept of AB/DL life. AB/DL stuff is a long way off to becoming public, because it really shouldn’t be public, wearing diapers in public is ok but being too open about it is really bad, same with sucking on a paci and wearing a baby doll dress walking down the street ( but if its Berkeley or Burning Man go ahead)

Transgenderism is a different story. I’ve always felt awkward as a boy, Mens rooms always make me nervous and I can’t remember a time when I used a urinal. I’ve gotten along well with guys my whole life (and plan to spend the rest of my life with the right one), I’m really socially warm-blooded, I can convincingly talk about bikes and bitches if the situation persists.

Before I started living as a woman I was always afraid that showing my true self would be perceived as exhibitionism and me imposing some weird fetish on others, but being around other trans-people and understanding that all my boy traits have been imposed on me by society and my peers lets me be free to live as I choose, the way that makes me happy. Starting to pass as a woman opened up a lot of new feelings, I pass 100% of the time if I’m dressed, If you’ve never seen me before you’ll see me as a girl, this fact is proven everyday in my life. Unfortunately I’m constantly read by people that knew me before I was a full-time girl, but people usually are just curious as opposed to angry Sometimes they get angry, but I try to not dwell on those stories.

Ok, just one. I was on the MTS (regional transit in San Diego) and a homeless guy I had seen a couple times on the street before was staring at me and totally read me, and started yelling on a rush-hour train “you better get off!!! this ain’t the tranny express!!!”. Being stuck on a train with every different type of person staring at every part of you trying to find a bulge or just totally scrutinizing me was some kind of hell. Luckily this nice Goth gentleman told the homeless man to politely “shut the fuck up”, but until I got off I was a nervous wreck.

It’s worth every bit of it though, having lived my life as a goofy, introverted, awkward boy to a cute, outgoing but still goofy girl makes me feel so right in living the way I do. Everyone’s always nice to me, I can clothes shop freely and actually use public restrooms without anxiety. Everything is different now and I couldn’t be happier I’ve yet to start taking hormones but I’m finally ready to start, I ‘m comfortable and positive about spending the rest of my life, public and private, as a girl!

Stuffing Diapers is the best way to go about wearing a big bulky diaper and having hours and hours of wet fun without changing.diapers so fluffy that you can hardly walk in is what so many AB’s desire that I thought I’d share some of the things I’ve learned. Also, when i mention “pull-ups” i generally mean little kids pull-ups, at least in this video. I hope you enjoy the video and more to come soon!

I love footy sleepers so much! If I would have gotten the bunny sleeper from “A Christmas Story” as a kid I would have been soooo happy! I wear them all winter whenever I’m at home, it’s been hpot here and you can almost see me sweating in the video. I hope you like seeing all my sleepers, vote and tell me which one you like the most!