Well, you can let it all hang out… I’m just going to be in my panties right now, theres quite a few people watching this and I’m a little shy.

I may pretend to be a porn star now and then, but i’m pretty self-conscious about my body. Hair has always been an issue with me, I feel wrong when I’m hairy, and my hands are kinda veiny, and I still to this day chew my fingernails. In the past I’ve felt unsexy, wrong, a awkward boy in girls clothes. It’s a fun mix of compulsion and the reality that to pass, I have to take good care of myself and that the judgment is going to be on the cavity search level from most people on the street. Every time someone says “you’ll never be as cute as a real girl” I die a little bit inside, but every time someone calls me ma’am I get a little bit of that self-confidence back.

The worst is, when I was younger, I always had little growing-boy-man-boobs, I even went to the doctor with it, and he said it was normal, but I was the skinniest kid wearing a shirt in the pool the rare times I swam at school. I was really embarrassed, but I’m sure lots of kids had them. I still have little tiny hills, i never have to stuff my bras but I’m super skinny, so big breasts are not expected. Good thing is, I kinda have a head start on the breast size thing, Bad thing is, I might have to lug around C’s for the rest of my life… I’m getting off course…

I have some really good close-up pictures, but I don’t really want to publish them just yet, I’m waiting until I have something to compare it to. To be honest I’m really nervous about posting this one, I don’t look very good in it, I took this before shaving this morning, fresh out of the shower. I almost never take my bra off, let alone take pictures with my boy-chest exposed, but here it is, the current physical me, topless and in my panties. It’s not going to let it all hang out just yet, I’m taking the pictures but they’re going to be private until, again, I have something to compare them to.

I’m going through this transition not to look hot or flirt with straight guys or get double penetrated, though all of those sounds lovely, I’m doing it to become a girl, to go to bed at night knowing that I’ve got all the right parts, that I’m not an unfinished puzzle anymore. I’m doing it because I know it’s the right thing to do, and everything else is just a bonus. Here it goes, this shy little girl isn’t just going to splash it all over the screen 😛