Hi friends! This is Riley, got a big Easter sampler of thoughts today. Life really is like a box of chocolates, some bits are sweet and gooey and make you smile while other bits break your teeth. This post is gonna be some smiles and some sads, i’ve got my stuffed bunny in my lap, my 90’s Trance Mix on, let’s talk!

24 Hours Later

Despite winter ending with a string of sunshiny days, snow came on the first day of spring. Instead of spending my day in the sunbeams and greenspaces, I spent all day in the studio showing off my cute butt in cute diapers & panties. I got a ton of diapers from the website “TEMU” and did a video about them, you’re going to love it! I also made a cute little wetting video :):)

I have my setup in such a way that I can film whenever I want so I’m taping as many diaper changes as I can! So many cute pics yesterday in my quadruple thick diapers! Feels so good to be a diaper girl again.

Full Set of Pics & Video Coming to DiaperLifestyle 🙂

One Week Later

The launches of DiaperLifestyle.com & StayKinky.com has been super successful!

My goal was to get 50 Paid subs at year end, was hoping for 100. I haven’t met those goals yet, but I am very much on my way. I have been so focused on the production end of things, advertising etc has not been at the forefront, just on here, YT & Twitter. I need to start getting the affiliate sharing going etc, Reddit, Phub, so much to do for one little girl! Not counting actually *making* the content, which is the fun part! Thanks so much for all the support!

On the surgical note, I started that “Voltaren” creme, it’s for arthritis and it’s basically liquid aspirin, I have been rubbing that on my post-op sore parts and it’s been good. I feel less pain than ever, it still aches here and there, but I feel pretty darn good. I could hangout in a comically thick diaper for a while, so it’s doing something right.

Sometimes recovery is just about time & finding the right thing. Never give up hope. A month ago I got a lidocaine shot in my parts and it did very little… I have tried everything. This might be the thing that works, or maybe the healing power of time kicked in. Who’s to say, all I know is there’s a big stuffed dolphin that’s gonna get a big soggy humping soon!

Emotional Content Warning for the next part.

5 Months Later

The first day of spring marked 5 months since Luna passed.

Our dream together was to get some time in a greenspace before she passed, and we did that a little… we sat in the grass together for a bit on the last day I saw her, outside of her chiropractors.

She stretched, she was so tall. I held her hand, kneeling, not caring if I got my pink clothes green. It was warm and quiet and felt good, the hum of New York gone, just the wind on the grass and cracking of the leaves beneath us. It was Fall, it feels a million years away from now. We just had the toughest week, perhaps of both our lives. The universe granted us a moment to just BE. To just BE, Together

A noise on her phone told us where to go next, we were off into that hum, the symphony, I packed the big stroller into the big rental. As we drove to the next medical appointment Luna pretended to be Siri, using her robot voice to guide us along. Makes me smile to think of it. Every moment with her is a moment i’ll cherish for all time. Feels good to share, thank you for listening.

No person can take those memories from me, no person can tarnish them, warp them. Only time can do that. That’s not good or bad or cruel, it’s not anything but inevitable. The human condition. I’m comfortable with that, I don’t expect special treatment from the universe. It’s our place as people to grant that special treatment to each others, to love deeply those we find worthy of loving. To put our time on this planet in the service of making another’s time here more comfortable and full of love, full of peace.

We can’t give all of ourselves, but it is so easy to. It’s also easy to be tricked, to be used, to be so afraid to give that you don’t give any to yourself. The valve opens and closes, and sometimes a bad thing can make it shut tight, need a strong caring hand to open it again.

My little heart is healing. I’m working on something special to memorialize Luna, something offline and real. It’s going to be beautiful and will be done when it’s done, hopefully by Summer. I’m not going to complain about my lack of time to complete the projects I want, i’m going to live this life fully for those who can’t. We are the arks for the spirits of those we’ve lost, we carry on their love, their vibes. They fuel our lanterns and shine their lights on the world.

Spring is here. The little foxes smell the fresh air for the first time & the world is made pure.

🧡🦊🧡

5 Years Later

A week from now I will be 5 years alcohol free! Feeling good. Gonna start talking more about recovery in my Transcaping blog. But for now, I’m just gonna focus on being good.

I’m doing ok. I have an appointment with a talking doctor soon. It’d be nice to talk to someone once a week about my big sads, I don’t need to talk about Trans stuff, I wanna talk about grief and trauma and all that. These days i’m functional and productive and feeling ok, I wanna maintain the progress, get into a routine of therapy. That would be so cool… I never get more jealous of others when I hear they have a therapist, I’ve only had one acceptable therapist out of many, and I messed that up by being a drunk and giving up on myself. I’m worth not giving up on, it took me a long time to realize that.

So I’m working on myself. I’m going to a show this week at a bar and have no worries about drinking or smoking, not just because I am confident in quitting, but because I know I will be vigilant and I’ll prioritize my choices and progress over anything or anyone else. Because I’m awesome like that 🙂

I bought a guitar, going to learn how it works 🙂

38 Years Later

I had such a lovely time on my birthday. I wish I could lie about my age still, but some of my porn is like, 18 years old now. On StayKinky I rock the Sadie/Riley dynamic, Riley is the cutie subby girl next door, Sadie is the sexy, sweet & switchy woman. Riley is footy sleepers, Sadie is heels, interchangeable at a moments notice 🙂 There’s a third name in there, the girl behind the curtain, but she doesn’t show herself often on the internet…

A Million Billion Years Later

People will recreate the late 2000’s in immersive Spice-Assisted Full Body VR, they’ll wear Goodnites while watching Tim & Eric over their Jamba Juices. They’ll check in on ProtectionBlog to see the latest diaper review and then hop on a Segway to the MF Doom concert, because while we may not last forever, the things you create online do. And that includes the kind of emotions you create & share. So take a moment to do something nice, give the next puppygirl you see lots of pats!

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Thanks for listening friends. Lots of cute diaper adventures coming soon! It feels so good to just CREATE, to not have to worry about all the technical stuff. I just wish I had 36 Hour Days and 4 more hands. More sooooon, I hope your spring is amazing, let’s play in the grass together 🙂